Epitaph
by FallenStar2
Summary: Andrew's videocamera works overtime... now completed. =)
1. Part I

Post-Chosen bit... Andrew finds a rare gift.

* * *

Epitaph  
  
Andrew couldn't believe his eyes. After finally going through his bag a month after the destruction left over in Sunnydale, he had found his video camera, buried underneath the crosses and small bottles of holy water undoubtedly put there by the newest slayers.

  
He pulled out the technology and examined it, finding a few scratches here and there. With a sharp eye, he pulled his sleeve over his hand and scrubbed at the dents in the metal, then gave up when he received a small shock from his efforts. Flipping the device over, he saw the small panel of buttons and the eject button. Ejecting the tape, he saw that it was nearly used up.

  
Cursing, he glanced at his bedroom inside the Best Western in Cleveland, where the original Slayer and all the new ones had taken up residence until they could find a home of their own. He would have to buy another tape to use it again.

  
Slipping the tape back inside, he rewound it and pressed the play button on the panel and lifted it up. 

  
His speech before he turned off his camera surprised him. He had never sounded so depressed nor morose in his life. The tape ended and the sounds of horizonal grey lines and the familiar buzz of an ended tape sounded. He reached for the stop button to end it, when suddenly he heard a slightly familiar voice.

  
"Is this piece of technology on or not?"

  
"Anya?" Andrew asked, turning his attention back to the device which allowed him to watch his tape. 

  
"Of course it's on. It's not like there's a curse on it or not." Anya's pretty face suddenly froze into a mask of terror as she reached forward, tapping with her index finger on the lens. "I guess you don't talk back to me, either."

  
Andrew forced himself to laugh. Anya could always be trusted to not understand what was in the now compared to what it was like in the then.

  
"I heard Andrew make a confession into his tape player, so I decided it would be my turn." She paused for what seemed like an eternity before continuing on. "I don't really have anything to confess that the scoobies don't already know. They know I was a vengeance demon. They know I was once married to a troll. They even know that I've had a lack of identity." She finally stopped rambling and looked up at the camera. Andrew was stunned to see tears sparkling in her eyes. "And I still don't. I don't know who I am or what I'm supposed to be. All I know is that the world is going to come crashing at an end and for the first time in my life, I'm a victim of that curse. I've followed the Scooby gang and the Vampire Slayer loyally for years. But I'm like those who have been chosen and have no power. My only super power is my understated wit and sarcasm. I don't have special muscles. I don't have witch powers or the powers to see and perceive. I have my loyalty. And my wit and unscrutiable sarcasm, of course."

  
Her voice began to waver. "What I found with them was that they're stupid. They fight so they can die. Buffy has proved this twice. But one thing she hasn't done was give up the cause. She's just like our little slay gal, keep on fighting. Just like the energizer... bunny... I have found myself among stupid people and a loyalty that will never die. I told Andrew before that I didn't love humans. I don't. I like them though. Like like even. They're weaker than your average demon, but when the going gets rough, they take it on their chin and keep fighting to the end.

  
"The world will not end. I trust in Buffy and the rest of the army to believe that it won't. I may even act like them, fighting to the end. With a human shield, possibly that tart little hostage if I can find him again." Andrew's lips flickered into a smile. "I know that my end is near, and if you are watching this, I'm dead. Gone. Forgotten. By most of you who thought I was an annoying twit. I'm sorry, Giles, was that too British?"

  
Anya glanced down and said in a hushed voice. "I know I have done a lot of terrible things in my time. I want to make it right. And if trusting my life in the hands of the Slayer is the way to be, I guess my time will come. I will miss you all, especially Xander, who although broke my heart into a thousand shards came through for me at the end. I'll miss retail. I'll miss my money. And I'll miss my life, whatever it was."

  
Anya glanced up and smiled, a bright cheerful smile she seemed to pull out of nowhere, a smile that radiated her lovely face. "Time for me to go now. If the end is as nigh as we all think it is, I'll see some of you soon. I'll miss you."

  
She leaned forward to turn off the machine. "Good-bye."

  
Andrew whispered the words back to her before turning off his own machine. When the time had come to show the tape, he would show it. Yes, indeed he would.


	2. Part II

By request, I made a follow-up chapter. As soon as I created this, my Beta reader (Katrina) decided that I should do a reaction post. Well, apparently she's not the only one.   
  
May contain some dialogue from "Chosen" and "Empty Spaces", when Anya does her favorite "you were blah blah blah" speech - ignore the spoilage. Doesn't really contain any anyway. Enjoy!  
  
Reviews are most welcome.  
  
* * * * *  
Epitaph, Part II  
  
The small double suite of room 221 in the Best Western East, Cleveland was crowded with scoobies. They all were waiting impatiently as Andrew dramatically opened his video camera and pulled out the tape. "Ta-da!" he said triumphantly.

  
The entire room groaned. Buffy, Faith, Giles, Willow, Kennedy, Xander and Dawn were all gathered on the two beds, popcorn and sodas in tow for what Andrew had promised to be an entertaining experience. The other slayers were out in the other two bedrooms the group had rented until they could find their home and Principal Wood was at work as deputy superintendant of the Cleveland school district.

  
Andrew slipped the tape inside the borrowed VCR and pressed play. Immediately, Andrew's face was seen as he confessed to killing his best friend. With a quick apology, he seized the remote from Xander and fast forwarded it to the end of his speech. 

  
"Now we have quality entertainment," Xander quipped, raising his fist in glee. Buffy and Faith, sitting side-by-side on the bed Buffy shared with Dawn, rolled their eyes. 

  
"Quiet!" Andrew hushed them, waiting for Anya's speech. 

  
Suddenly, Anya sprang to life.

  
"What the hell?" Faith muttered, but Xander quietly hushed her.

  
And they watched in silence.  
  
* * *  
  
Even five minutes after the tape had ended, there wasn't a dry eye in the room. Even Faith, usually emotionally cool, had wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her denim jacket.

  
"Wow," Buffy finally said, staring at the television screen.

  
"Wow indeed," said Xander, sounding awed. "That's my girl, always doing the stupid thing."

  
"It wasn't so stupid," Dawn protested, feebly wiping her own tears away. "She was always insulting us. She was always using her wit and sarcasm to put us down. And now, she shows herself."

  
"She was a very vulnerable woman," Giles replied, removing his glasses to clean them. "We just never knew how much."

  
Xander finally took the remote from Andrew and pressed stop. "I don't know about the rest of you, but seeing her face a few months after she... died... it makes things so much easier. It's so much easier when she says goodbye first."

  
That started Dawn on another tear rampage. Faith quickly shoved the kleenex box toward her. 

  
"She did," Buffy said, her voice sounding somewhat tight as she turned to Willow. "Will?"

  
"She said that you were luckier than all of us, that whenever we needed a leader, you were automatically chosen. And she finally admits that you were chosen for a reason, Buffy. You died twice and you're still standing. If you could inspire loyalty from a thousand-year-old ex-demon, who can't?"

  
Buffy nodded, feeling a deep resolve inside herself. Even after Spike's death, Anya's hadn't quite reached her yet. But now it was beginning to take its toll.

  
"I loved her," Xander burst out. Willow leaned over the bed that Faith had and took Xander's hand. "I still do."

  
"She wasn't a slayer. She probably predates a lot of them. But she had the power of her choice, and her choice was to follow you," Willow said softly, turning back to Buffy. "She died stronger than she ever was, because she believed in something other than death, darkness and the eternal torment of men, and that was the power that is you."

  
Buffy tried to smile and cast a glance at Faith, who closed her mouth. "She wasn't much of a slayer, but she was one hell of a woman."

  
There was a collective group of smiles around the room. 

  
"I miss her," Andrew whined.

  
"We all do," Xander said, clapping Andrew's shoulder as he stood up. "We all will."

  
Buffy and Faith got to their feet, glancing at the buckets of discarded popcorn. "Who wants to do a movie?" Faith asked. "There's a rippin' new show down at the Cineplex. Buffy?"

  
"Yeah," she said, reaching for her jacket. "Let's go."

  
They all began to crowd out of the room, one by one. Xander hung back though, shouting "Be along in a minute!" and took Andrew's arm. "Do you think I could have your tape? Or could you make a copy of it?"

  
"Yeah," said Andrew, ejecting the tape and handing it with a shaking hand back to Xander. "Xander?"

  
"Yeah?" Xander replied, turning around.

  
"She said your name," Andrew admitted in a low voice. "After the screaming, after she fell, she said your name. Before she died, the last thoughts she had were of you."

  
Xander tried to smile, yet his mouth wouldn't form. Setting the tape aside, he would watch it again, later, when they had returned from the movie.

  
But for now, it was time to move on.


	3. Part III

Wow. Another request for a Spike epitaph. I'm trying a different style on this one, so don't hate me. Quotes in this bit are from 'Death of Rinaldo - Legends of Charlemagne' by Thomas Bulfinch. A part of it has been paraphrased into something that fits more with the theme. Original version printed on bottom.  
  
This is kinda Spuffyish. If this isn't what you had in mind, feel free to complain.  
  
Reviews, as always, most welcome!  
  
-----  
Epitaph - Redemption  
  
  
Buffy voiceover: "I perceived him as fallen into great sin, and have broken the words we entrust, but mercy is greater than sin; and if he repents from his heart, and lead a new life, there is yet hope for him that all will be forgiven, because what is past is past. I have also been the cause of the death of many of my friends, who took my part, not because they thought me in the right, but only for love of me. I have also held sin and shame, but my redemption will come, but his salvation is at hand."  
  
- Three Months Before -  
  
Spike was still dangling the amulet from his fingers, trying to test his knowledge on what tortures it could possibly move on him. Buffy was outside, enjoying her last night outside her house, on the front porch, where they had had many of their fights. Smiling a bit, he turned back to his amulet until another glint caught his eye. Reaching down, he spied Andrew's duffel bag. Rolling his eyes, he pulled out the camera. "Andrew!" he bellowed.

  
He heard footsteps above him that clattered down the stairs in annoying, obnoxious pounds. "Yes, Spike?"

  
"I thought I told you to get rid of this thing," Spike said, handing him the camcorder. "Why you keeping it anyway. You want your confession to be on hand when we finally get out of this bloody town?"

  
"I was hoping to interview some people who said they weren't going to make it," Andrew said, proudly ejecting a tape. "It has ten minutes left. Want to try?"

  
Spike glared at him. "Bloody no."

  
"Please?" Andrew whined. "You're the male lead hero and all male lead heroes have to say something heroic before they die, or before they think they're going to die." Andrew began squirming more. "I overheard Buffy say that you were a champion. If you die tomorrow, what would you want to say to her?"

  
"You have a point," Spike sighed as he set the amulet down. "All right, get on with it."

  
Andrew replaced the tape and lifted the camera onto his shoulder. "When you're ready."

  
"I'm at a loss for words," Spike replied.

  
"Come on," Andrew complained again. "I know you don't have thinker's block. You're just trying to shy away because you're so cool and I'm not."

  
"You're an annoying twit," Spike replied, nodding his head. "That's my version of a happy ending."

  
Andrew held the camera for a good five minutes before Spike finally caved. "All right. Turn it on."

  
Andrew clicked the red button.

  
Spike stared at the camera a moment before lifting the amulet. "You see this? You have given it to me because you trust me as a champion, as a hero. But what if I'm not what you say I am? Sure, I fought by your side for three years now, so that should count. We did have that incredible year in that we, well... it's in the past. I've moved on from that. I like the way it is now, the way it will end. You, falling asleep in my arms, trusting me to give you strength, strength you know I have to give to you.

  
"You've died twice. The last time I felt as though my world had died and ended, right then and there. I felt as though my entire being was useless, because I had done the one thing I should never have done before - I broke a promise to a lady. I broke my promise that I would protect her, guide her. I tried to get over it, but it's not the sort of thing you get over quickly. I love the bit. If anything happens tomorrow, you know I'll hold true to my promise, and I'll watch over her and protect her, until the end of the world.

  
"I know I'm a monster, but you treat me like a man, and that's more than I ever dreamt I can have from you. You have given me your heart, I can feel it at night. But I've given you my undying word and the love I have, which may hold true. I'll love you now, and then, even after death. Because I'm already dead, and you've given me a stronger hold than anything as I could have thought. You are the reason that I am what I am. You gave me my soul, you've given my salvation. Now it's time for me to finish it.

  
"Take care of the bit for me. Watch after Xander and Anya. Clever lady that one is. Don't let her go, Xander. Take care of her. Willow, I know you think you don't have the strength to do what you know you can, I believe in you. You can do more wonderful things if you just believe in yourself. Carry my faith with you, it will lead you to places beyond the black-eyed girl phase. Take care of the slayers. Faith, be good. You'll find your place in this world. Trust Buffy, she's died twice, she's still standing, and she's still leading. She's not luckier than us, she's earned her role. Giles, you have always been a role model for me, even though you're an annoying git from Britain and I can't stand your uptightness. You've got a good army to watch over now. They need you. All of them.

  
Buffy, I love you. You know I love what you are, what you stand for. Remember me when everything falls into place and you achieve your one true moment of peace. I'll be there. I promise you, I'll be there."

  
He glanced at Andrew, who stood there sniffling, his eyes watering. "You bloody moron," Spike growled. "Turn off the camera."

  
Andrew clicked it off, never taking his eyes off Spike. "You are so cool."

  
Footsteps sounded above as Buffy came back into the house. 

  
"If I live, we bury that tape," Spike said as Andrew hastily packed his equipment. "Now go before she sees you and gets suspicious."

  
Andrew ran upstairs and out of the house.

  
A moment later, Buffy came down.

  
Standing, they stared at one another, knowing the challenges they'd have to face. Together. Tomorrow.  
  
* * * * *  
Original quote: "Friend, I perceive you have fallen into great sins, and have broken the commandments of God, but His mercy is greater than your sins; and if you repent from your heart, and lead a new life, there is yet hope for you that He will forgive you what is past."


	4. Part IV

The drill goes... Spike's video falls into the right hands, and into a few wrong ones... Reactions vary.   
  
Thank you for the reviews! For just a plot bunny, this has turned into a fun project! The next update should be next week sometime, before my big vacation over the 4th of July weekend.   
  
Reviews are, as always, welcome...  
  
* * * * *  
Epitaph Part IV  
  
- Three Months Later -  
  
Buffy was awoken by random arguing outside the door to the Best Western in Cleveland. She rolled over, careful not to wake her sister, and rose, wrapping herself in the customary hotel bathrobe and padding to the door to open it, to tell off the morons on the other side who thought that arguing at 4 AM was something laughable. 

  
She opened the door and her jaw dropped. A slew of new slayers stood outside her door, apparently discussing whether to knock, and it the pitch had risen to an argument. They all turned pink as she noticed them. "What?" Buffy demanded, crossing her arms. 

  
It was Vi who spoke, raising her gaze to meet Buffy's. "There was a break-in at the new mansion."

  
Buffy's eyebrows rose so fast in confusion, the other slayers jumped over each other to explain. Finally, she just turned back to Vi and asked her again. "What?"

  
"A few of our new rooms were looted," Vi explained apologetically. "Apparently, whoever was there knew what they were looking for."

  
Buffy shrugged. "It's a hellmouth, sometimes vampires just love to party."

  
"Not in this case," said Kennedy, speaking up for the first time. "We were trying to decide whether or not to tell you, because, well, it might be personal."

  
"Take me."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Dawn was just approaching the horizon as the group of nearly a dozen girls walked up the steeply sloped hill into a large mansion, left abandoned as a vampire master's house, who had quickly been taken down once Buffy and the others had arrived in town. Nearly everyone by now had moved into it, except for Buffy and Dawn, who's room was being renovated, and Faith, who was going to leave as soon as their house was considered "liveable" again. Planning to return to Boston to mingle with her old friends, Faith would return sooner or later to assist Buffy in defeating the new threat Cleveland was facing.

  
The mansion reminded her eerily of Angel's back in Sunnydale, with the large, cathedral rooftop and the large fireplace in the main room. Unlike Angel's, the entire area was covered in homey looking sofas and end tables, and bright lamps lit the room. Statues and paintings and murals dotted the rocky walls, giving it more of a touch like home. 

  
They walked silently through the living area to a large staircase, curved toward a balcony far above, where a twin staircase on the other side joined the balcony. Buffy reached the second floor and glanced about, her eyes narrowing. The girls lead her down a long hallway to another staircase, and they approached the third floor.

  
It was cold up here, so cold. They passed Dawn's new bedroom and finally reached Buffy's, where Kennedy swung open the heavy oak door.

  
They all stepped inside, Buffy's eyes taking in the damage. It looked like someone had dumped out her new belongings, as though searching for something. Buffy moved toward the large, walk-in closet and pulled open the white door and glanced inside, where all of her new supplies had been stocked.

  
It was there.

  
Kennedy sighed in confusion as Buffy pulled back out. "What were they looking for?"

  
"Buffy?" a terrified whisper sounded behind her.

  
Buffy turned and glanced at her new bed, her own face melting to a look of shock as she noticed a videotape, a black rose and a large black bundle. A note was attached to the rose, bearing the message "Watch. Learn."

  
Buffy lifted the videotape and left the room, the other girls hurrying to keep out. Reaching Andrew's new video-technology room, Buffy slid the tape into the VCR and clicked the play button. Automatically, five television screens began playing the messages. 

  
Kennedy was on the screen, saying goodbye to her new friends and to Willow. There was a brief pause, until a slightly familiar voice picked up.

  
"Spike?" the girls chorused in unison.

  
And they watched it.  
  
* * * * *  
  
As Spike's lament went on, Buffy could feel her eyes moisten. She heard footsteps behind her and knew they had woken the others still living in the house. "Buffy?" she heard a voice call softly, but she ignored it, her eyes glued to the multiple screens, where Spike was confessing the very depths of his soul.

  
Finally, his face left the screen.

  
Next to her, she felt a soft hand touch hers. "Buffy?"

  
"Xander," she said nervously, turning to look at him. Andrew stood next to him, dressed in striped pajamas and a pointed nightcap. "Andrew?"

  
"He knew," Andrew said simply. "He knew he wouldn't make it to the end, or he wouldn't have said a word."

  
Buffy nodded and wiped the last trace of a single tear away with her fingernail. 

  
"I'm sorry the tape was in such bad condition," Andrew replied. "I was making enough copies of the tape for everyone, and then the original disappeared when our house was broken into this morning."

  
Buffy jerked herself out of her reverie. "Who was it?"

  
"Whoever it was left a few things. The rose. The letter. Your copy of the videotape, and this," said Andrew, removing Spike's leather duster.

  
Just seeing it again brought back an overwhelming sense of sadness. "Where did you find this?" she asked, her voice a hushed whisper. She took the leather jack nonchalantly, but feeling the touch of his leather on her skin brought a flush of red to her cheeks.

  
"Maybe we should go back to bed," a sleepy voice said behind the group. Robin Wood stood there, shaking his head and blinking in the bright light. "Or did some of you forget my closet is across the hall?"

  
"I'm sorry," said Buffy, ushering everyone out of Andrew's studio. "They were just showing me the damage from the breakin."

  
Robin nodded, gave her a faint smile, and disappeared behind his door again.

  
Buffy returned to her new bedroom after dismissing the slayers to sleep. Walking inside, she reached her bed and sat down, holding the duster tightly to her. Pressing her face into the leather, she breathed in the scent. Lifting her head, her eyes were watering, tears trickling down her face. She knew no one would hear her crying, so she felt safe in bottling up her feelings, here, within four cold stone walls, lost, confused and alone in a city where she knew they would overcome the newest threat on Earth, but with a terrible price.

  
She rested her head on the headrest, closing her eyes. Leaving Sunnydale behind meant leaving Spike there, but every so often, she had the prickled sensation that he was moving with her, helping her to fight the endless stream of demons, to assist her in constructing their new home... he was there. No matter how hard she tried to convince he was gone, he still existed.

  
She could almost feel his arms around her at that very moment, comforting her. His soft words promised to find the one who had stolen all of the tapes, all but hers. His cool hands caressed her back as she choked out another sob. His soft lips pressed themselves to her temple, letting her know it was okay to cry.

  
It had been so long.

  
But she had to find out who had done this, bringing back his memory.

  
And she would.


	5. Part V

This story is going on a mini-break for about a week or so after this... basically because I won't have the time to write it, I'll be on vacation and my beta will be on vacation as well. I do have plans to write more, and on vacation I may even, but until Thursday comes, I have enough to update.  
  
Yeah, so I've turned this thing into a mystery. I'm half torn about starting a sequel because I really liked the theme of the original story [grief] buuuuut... I don't know. My beta is useless considering she's already gone. I might continue on this last chapter and then start it.  
  
The mystery of the tapes is revealed. This is kinda Spuffy-ish. The next part, which will be considered sequel-ish, will be more Anya-centric.  
  
Reviews are welcome. Thanks to those that already reviewed!  
  
* * * * *  
Epitaph V  
  
Buffy was awoken by the sound of rustling papers, which sounded right next to her head. Rolling over and muttering under her breath, she turned and saw that the room was empty. It was the strangest feeling, she thought as she sat up, running a hand through her hair to tuck the strays behind her ears, waking up alone. She had slept last night as though Spike was beside her, whispering words of comfort and strength, his arms wrapped around her, soothing, protecting. As she stood up, she had to force the tears from her eyes. It was hard enough that Spike was gone. Forever. Wiped away like a blissful dream long forgotten. It was even harder to imagine him back.

  
She sat down again, recalling a vivid dream, a wonderful romp two years ago that had ended in bliss. She smiled, wrapping her arms around her. She was almost willing to go back to sleep just to relive that fond memory. 

  
Buffy stood up and walked toward the door, poking her head out. The clock at the end of the hall read just after 11 AM. As she descended the last set of steps leading into the kitchen, she could hear voices. They sounded suspiciously like Willow and Xander, arguing over who should wake her up.

  
"Buffy," another voice called out as Buffy turned, seeing Kennedy walk in sleepily, her arms lazily crossed over her robe. "How wonderful you're actually awake."

  
"Yeah," Buffy replied, taking the stool next to Xander as Willow was beating something in a bowl, muttering about how much she missed using magic for the simplest things. "What're you making us?"

  
Willow glanced up, a trace of a smile on her face. "Was going for nice, fluffy pancakes... until I completely forgot the egg in the first batch. I guess that the second try should be better. I added a few blueberries."

  
"Ooooh," Kennedy squealed as she took plates from the heavy cabinets behind her girlfriend. "Empty calories for us working girls."

  
Buffy and Xander looked at each other and rolled their eyes.

  
Giles stomped down behind them, looking grumpy and exhausted, his freshly washed hair brushed carefully back. "Shower on the third floor's free."

  
Kennedy gave a tiny whoop of excitement and ran past him, barely knocking into him.

  
Buffy and Xander exchanged a second look before turning back to Willow, who was ladeling pancake batter into a frying pan. Giles walked past them, straight to the electronic teapot, which he happily plugged in. Turning back to the group, he poured from the coffee pot into their waiting three mugs. Buffy thanked him warily and sipped at the scalding liquid. "So, what's up for today?"

  
"I'm going to attempt to contact the coven," Giles replied, slipping a teabag into his own mug and sitting on the other side of Willow on the island. "I am in the process of forming a new watcher's council."

  
"I'm thinking of going shopping," Willow replied cheerfully, flipping her pancakes. "I'd like to get some new curtains and a new outfit for my interview on Wednesday."

  
"Oh?" Buffy asked, glancing curiously over the rim of her cup toward the woman. "What for?"

  
"Curator of a museum," Willow replied. Giles blinked behind her and turned to face her, beaming his smile and bowing his head.

  
"I'm proud you've reconsidered that job opportunity, Willow. You'd make an extraordinary curator."

  
"I don't have the degree," Willow said softly, almost apologetically, as she set the spatula aside, "but I've got some credentials. I just borrowed a page from Anya's book."

  
The table was silent for a moment until Willow continued on in a rush of words while piling a stack of blueberry pancakes on a plate. "I just meant that I was going to sell myself as someone who was competent enough to stand up for a job, to keep fighting for it."

  
"You took her words to heart, Will," Buffy said, beaming as she accepted a plate of hot pancakes. The teapot began to whistle as Giles rose, filling his cup. "Good luck. And if you want a shopping partner, I'm your woman."

  
"Okay," said Willow slowly. "I also want Dawn to come. School starts in a few days and she has almost nothing. Some new clothes, a new backpack and the contents of the reading list compliments of the Cleveland area public school district."

  
"That's fine," Buffy said cheerfully, pulling the manila envelope closer to her to read over the letter that had arrived earlier in the week. "What about the other girls?"

  
"The younger ones have also been enrolled," Willow replied, adding more mixture to the frying pan as Xander, Buffy and Giles began eating. "Kennedy and Vi both asked to be enrolled at the local community college, which they have. And Chao-An is going to take an english-as-a-second-language course at the same school. I think that's everyone."

  
"I'll spend the rest of my life working my better years behind a desk," Xander replied, throwing his cheesy grin. 

  
"You will not," Giles replied, glancing up from his breakfast as Willow stood over his shoulder, piling more pancakes on his plate. "If the watcher's council is refounded, you will certainly play a larger part."

  
Everyone turned to Giles in silence. Xander's fork fell with a clatter. "It's because of my army training, isn't it?"

  
Giles nodded slowly, sipping his tea. "You seem the best person for the job. I'll have my score of slayers and witches, but I need someone not connected in any way to any power. I need someone with insight. I need someone who has a voice that can be heard. I need you, Xander."

  
"I'm honored," Xander replied, his voice tinted with surprise as he reached for his fork. "And surprised." He paused, taking another bite and taking his sweet time in swallowing. "And completely accepting."

  
Buffy laughed, clapping his shoulder. "I knew you could do it, Xan."

  
He gave her a wan smile. "Let's see if I really can."

  
"Anya would say you'd be able to," Willow replied, emptying the rest of the batter into the frying pan as Vi walked into the kitchen, looking as though she had just dropped from the ceiling. Dressed in her patrol clothing, she looked ragged and exhausted. Grabbing a plate, she silently swept through the kitchen and up the stairs. A moment later, Shannon followed suit, followed by Faith. As Shannon followed Vi, Faith remained.

  
"Anya really believed in me, didn't she?" Xander asked, finishing his breakfast before surrendering his stool to Faith, who took it. Giles handed her a cup of coffee, which she happily accepted.

  
"I didn't know much about her," Faith replied, speaking before the others could. "She seemed like a cool one. A little batty and worn around the edges, but she really came through for us, fighting on the right side and everything." She paused a moment before setting her mug down. "I wish she was here. I miss her sarcasm."

  
Xander reached over and clasped Faith's shoulder. "We all do, Faith. We all do."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Buffy and Dawn were walking through the halls of a particularily crowded shopping mall, bags in both hands. 

  
"Can we take a break?" Dawn asked, fanning herself.

  
Buffy nodded and they headed toward the food court. After getting an ice cream, they found a table in a corner. Dawn sat down, breathing hard, digging through her purse for her list while Buffy sat there, eating her ice cream silently.

  
"You okay?" Dawn asked in a quiet voice.

  
Buffy shrugged. "I don't know," she said, her voice tired. "Everything that's happened in the past few months... Sunnydale, Cleveland, Spike..."

  
Dawn's spoon froze in midair. "You saw the tape?"

  
The hairs on the back of Buffy's neck prickled. "How did you know about it?"

  
Dawn shrugged and busied herself with her ice cream for a moment, before continuing. "I..." she choked out, "I put it there. He told me that morning, he gave me his duster and the rose... he wanted you to have a parting gift... I'm sorry your room was such a mess, because I had to find where Andrew put that tape, and I managed to destroy the others and-"

  
Buffy cut off her sister's ramblings. "You did what?" It was hard to believe that Dawn was behind the tapes.

  
"We all talked about it," Dawn continued, setting her spoon down. "We thought it best if we took all the extra tapes except for a few... because it's really bad to keep reminding us of what we left behind. All of us."

  
"Dawnie," Buffy whispered in disbelief. "How could you?"

  
"You know how I felt about Spike," Dawn replied, a bit of fire in her voice now. "You know I loved him as a friend. He was sweet, and nice, and he saved my life a lot, but still, Buffy. You have to face the fact that he's dead. Because I know that you thought of him more as a friend. You saw him as an equal. You lvoed him for what he was, for what he did for you. He sacrificed himself to save all of us. That took the greatest amount of courage, and the greatest love of all."

  
"I loved him," Buffy spat out, pushing her ice cream away. "He is the last thing I will ever remember about Sunnydale. He was-"

  
"Hey, you two!" Kennedy's voice rang cheerfully across the food court. She and Willow made their way through the throng of tables and chairs to the booth where the Summers' sisters sat. "Ready to head out?"

  
Buffy looked down and didn't say anything. Dawn sat across, her eyes on her sister before lifting her gaze to Kennedy's. "We'll be ready in a minute. Can you give us a sec?"

  
"Why?" Buffy asked, her voice full of heat as she returned her gaze to Dawn's. "You don't want them to find out that you were in the mansion, snooping through bedrooms and destroying personal messages our dead loved ones left for us?"

  
Willow's jaw dropped. "Buffy, I-"

  
"All right!" Buffy cried out, interrupting both women. "I loved Spike, okay? I wish he was still here. I wish he would hold me again, because he was the one that gave me the strength at the end. He was the one who watched my back, no matter how big of a bitch I was. He was the one that believed in me. But he's gone. All I have is a garbled tape, a rose and his duster, which belongs to Robin's mother. You want to take away all of the reminders of what I've lost, to what we've all lost?"

  
"Buffy-" Kennedy began.

  
"Then do it," Buffy said, rising to face Willow. "Use a spell, make a charm. Take away my memories. Take away my dreams. You want me to move on with my life, with my newfound freedom? I lost someone I loved. I know you know how that feels." Willow turned pink, looking away. "Dawn, remember when Mom died, how absolutely terrified we were that nothing would ever be okay again? Do you remember how it was? We coped. We survived."

  
"I lost you," Dawn said, enunciating every word slowly. "How do you think I felt?"

  
Buffy turned back to her, the beginnings of a tear sparkling in her eyes. "Did you want to remove every memory, every trace of me?"

  
"No," Dawn admitted softly. "I wanted you back more than anything. Because you made the ultimate sacrifice for me."

  
"Spike did the same thing," Buffy said, letting a single tear fall down her cheek. She swung her gaze to Willow. "He died a champion and I want to remember him as one. I don't need final words to tell me how he felt, because I can feel how he felt."

  
"He loved you," Willow said, a sad smile brightening her face as she reached to take Buffy's hand. 

  
"Anya died a noble death," Buffy said after a shuddering breath, trying to regain her self-control. "She died believing she did the right thing. She died believing in me, believing in all of us. Xander said she did a stupid thing. It was all about redeeming herself for all of the bad things she'd done was doing something good, something that would benefit the world. Spike was the same way."

  
"He died to save all of us, redeeming himself for hurting you, hurting all of those he'd hurt before," Dawn replied, rising to her feet and reaching for her sister. "Buffy, I'm so, so sorry."

  
Buffy hugged her sister tight. "I love you, Dawnie. No matter what happens to me. I will always love you."

  
Willow and Kennedy smiled as the sisters hugged again, then gathered their bags and garbage to leave. 

  
  
* * * * *  
  
Buffy sat in her room again that night. Following a quick patrol with Chao-An and Rona, she was certain that in her heart she'd done the right thing. Her eyes fell on the video tape at the end of her bed, smashed beyond recognition. Sweeping the pieces into a garbage can, she sat back, brushing her hands together.

  
She felt the comforting touch of leather on her side and pulled the duster in her lap. As she took it, the last few moments of their last conversation flashed through her mind.

  
"I can feel it, Buffy," Spike had said, turning to look at her, his eyes wide with pain and sorrow. 

  
"What?" Buffy's voice sounded far away, as though it belonged to someone else.

  
"My soul. It's really there," Spike said, his eyes widening in realization. "Kinda stings."

  
She heard Faith calling in the distance, but ignored the sound. She reached over and intertwined her fingers through his. He turned to her, his eyes wide as their hands burst into flame, sealing their eternity, all of the tomorrows they would never have.

  
Buffy struggled with her next words, even in her spot on the bed repeating them. "I love you." It was almost a question, finally repeating what her heart had spoken for so long.

  
"No you don't, but thanks for saying it," Spike replied, but in his eyes, she could read it. He was trying to comfort himself, trying to redeem himself for hurting her. He knew she loved him. It was spoken in the fire burning their hands.

  
Buffy remembered releasing his hand, and running away. Running from the one thing she had held for so long.

  
She glanced at the duster in her lap, brushing her fingers over the cool leather. 

  
Then lifting up the duster, she lay it gently on the end of the bed.

  
"I'll never forget you, or what you did for me, for us. I just hope you know how I really felt and that I wish you were here right now. I miss you."

  
She leaned over and turned off the light, readying herself for another night of memorable dreams.

  
"Good-bye Spike."


	6. A Final Note

Author's Notes  
  
I am planning on writing a "what happens next" part to Epitaph and I do plan on basing it on Anya. However, it will be a few weeks before I begin it. I have a gift project I'm working on and enough plot bunnies to work out, not to mention the pile of beta work I have left. I have a working title for the next part, but my beta has already decided to beta another fic I am writing instead of the next project I'm planning. So I've picked up a beta for my Star Wars fic but I'm completely unbeta-ed for my next project.   
  
Thank you for your reviews and your praise :) Without your suggestions, Epitaph wouldn't have been what it was. I only hope the sequel meets your expectations.  
  
- Angel J.


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